Compassion for yourself benefits everyone in your life
You’re not the only one who feels guilty taking long baths or spending an entire afternoon binging British cooking shows. Many people have trouble taking time for themselves— often unable to separate the concept of recharging one’s mental health from laziness. Even after years of practice, I still catch myself asking the question “Is self-care…selfish?”. I even sometimes experience a brief pang of guilt. It’s times like these when I wonder why we can find it so hard to give ourselves a break.
What is Self-Care
Self-care is anything that you do regularly to improve your mental, physical or emotional health. At its core, it means taking good care of your body and mind while treating yourself with compassion. There are many aspects to self-care, with different strategies and habits to treat your physical, psychological and emotional health. As the field of psychology has known for a long time, attending to your needs in these key areas is essential for a healthier mind, stronger relationships and a better overall quality of life.
How self-care helps others
We all have people that depend on us in one way or another, and we often want to give them as much love and support as we can—we’re decent people after all! Unfortunately, this is far more difficult when you have high levels of mental and physical stress or exhaustion. To indulge in a colloquialism “you only have so much in the tank!”. Self-care doesn’t mean that you should ignore your responsibilities, or prioritize your own pleasures over the well-being of others— it is simply a suggestion that recharging your emotional resources is a good thing!
Why has self-care been misrepresented?
With our hyper-competitive culture, it’s no surprise that self-care has been viewed with suspicion. After all, how can taking time for yourself help your productivity at work, or make you a better partner, parent or community member? There’s always so much that needs to be done, that sometimes, carving out an hour for yourself can seem like a self-centred fantasy.
We were taught as children that you only get a reward after completing a task. Nice things come only after sufficient elbow grease has been applied (how can you have your pudding, if you don’t eat your meat?). Viewing self-care from this perspective can make it feel like you're enjoying something that you didn’t earn. For me, this idea is so deeply ingrained, I still find it very difficult to break out of this effort/reward mindset.
It’s for these reasons that proponents of self-care offer a different perspective on the practice— maintenance.
Cars don’t have to earn their oil change, the kitchen doesn’t have to try its best to receive a cleaning, and you don’t have to reach all of your goals before enjoying some time to yourself. Rest, recharge and take care of yourself so that in turn you can also support the ones you love.
Ways to practice self-care
There are too many ways that you can practice self-care to mention here, but here are some good options to start with:
Exercise
Exercise may not fit the mental image many of us have when we think about self-care. After all, exercise is tough (Where’s my candle-lit bath and chocolate ice cream?). While it can be a challenge to bring yourself to exercise at the end of a long day, pushing yourself to move around a bit can be very rewarding. Exercise releases a wonderful cocktail of feel-good chemicals into your brain and when done regularly, exercise can help to lower your baseline stress levels. Of course, it’s a good idea to check with your doctor, to make sure that you are healthy enough for physical exercise.
Sleep
Sleep scientists call the collection of habits and routines associated with sleep, sleep hygiene, and it is one of the most important aspects of responsibly caring for yourself. You can improve your sleep hygiene by avoiding stressful activities before bed, avoiding the stimulating light of phones and laptops and giving yourself enough time to get uninterrupted and restful sleep. I’ve adopted a no-laptops-in-bed rule this year, and so far I’ve been getting more restful nights of sleep than I’ve ever had in my life!
Social media detox
I often find myself glued to my phone for more time than I’d like to admit. Most of this time is spent catching up on my social media channels, answering emailsand chiming in on the occasional group thread. While social media is a big part of my life, when I find it’s taking too much of my time, energy or happiness, I take a break. Not a break-up, just a brief hiatus. Spending an afternoon totally unplugged from social media can do wonders for your focus and overall sense of peace.
Mental health check-ins
For me, this takes the form of a journaling practice. Writing a little reflection first thing in the morning allows me to check in with my emotions and helps me plan my day in a low-stakes way. If you have a habit of collecting empty notebooks, I highly recommend giving this a try. An added bonus for me is I get to enjoy my morning coffee for just a little bit longer.
How do you practice self-care? Send us an email to Jenny.MeadowGifts@gmail.com and let us know!